Language is really important in relationships. Just as the wrong phrase can irritate your lover, a properly worded line can equally win her heart. And, while no two women are alike, there are several things women always want to hear. Fifteen of them, in fact—we’ve compiled them all right here, straight from top relationship specialists.
1. “You’re Right.”
Sometimes it’s better to admit that she’s correct and you’re not. Most women respect the virtue of humility. It wouldn’t hurt to know how to apologize.
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2. “We’re In This Together.”
Women adore hearing that you are dedicated. Of course, this only works if it is true. “Most women want to hear your commitment to them because that creates security,” argues Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D., a certified clinical psychologist in Colorado. “When you’re in a conflict and things feel insecure, they need to hear reassurance that you’re in it for the long haul and you’re committed to working things out,” according to him. You should also be sure you understand how to make that commitment last forever.
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3. “You Look Amazing.”
Simple yet effective. “Women want to hear that they are beautiful,” says Melissa Divaris Thompson, a licensed marital and family therapist in New York City. It may appear trivial, but the thinking behind it makes sense: “It helps women boost their confidence and feel more loved,” she says. We have even more tips on how to impress any woman here.
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4. “I Made Plans for Us for Saturday Night.”
“Women feel cared about when their partner makes plans for them to do something,” according to Baumgartner. Whether you go all out on a romantic date night or simply prepare dinner and watch a movie at home, demonstrating that you took the effort to organize something fun to do as a pair will be greatly appreciated.
5. “What’s The Most Meaningful Experience You’ve Ever Had?”
Questions can be an effective method for creating intimacy, particularly in the early stages of a relationship, but also later on. “Your partner is not an extension of you, but an entirely different individual,” explains Anjhula Singh Bais, Ph.D., an international psychologist and author. “There will always be stones unturned, and it’s up to you to find out those things. ‘I never knew about you after all these years,'” she proceeds to say. “This pulls you closer, and often you’ll be surprised at the person sitting across from you.”
6. “I love you.”
Simple, right? “This is probably one of the least said and most desired groups of words that women want to hear regularly,” says Christine Baumgartner, a dating and relationship expert. So, if you’ve reached that place in your relationship, make sure you express it frequently and with conviction. Better yet, there are simple ways to convey “I love you” without using words at all.
7. “You Know What I Love About You?”
This is followed by something extremely detailed. “Women love specifics,” says Rebecca Burton, a marital and family therapist. “We understand you love us, but why? “A little extra thought can transform sweet nothings into sweet somethings.”
8. “If You Want to Talk, I’m Here.”
“Remind her that you are there for her emotionally whenever she needs anything,” says Sahar Dorani, Psy.D., a certified clinical psychologist. “It’s not all about materialistic or financial expressions of love,” she points out.
9. “Last Night Was Incredible.”
“Women like to hear they are good in bed,” says Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW. Like their male counterparts, “they want to know that they are providing pleasure to their partner and that their partner is happy with their sex life.” If you want to spice things up in the bedroom, check out the 5 methods to have the best sex of your life tonight.
10. “I Don’t Understand, But I’m Going to Try.”
“Let’s be honest: Communication between the genders can be a minefield,” Burton asserts. “You’re not always going to get where she’s coming from, but you get points for trying.”
11. “How Can I Support You?”
“Women seek partnerships that encourage their growth, nurture their talents, and allow them to be their best selves,” argues relationship therapist, educator, and author Shadeen Francis. “It is not enough to speak the talk; women want to see results. Partners who not only commit to this but also actively check in on their significant other’s needs and follow through are more likely to have successful relationships.” You can also express your support for your wife by making these meaningful gestures.
12. “No, You Don’t Look Fat.”
Hold your eye roll. Sometimes individuals (even males!) require a little more reassurance. “Women want to know that even on their worst days, they’re still beautiful and desirable,” says Debra Rogers, a dating specialist and author of the breakup book He Did You a Favor. It should go without saying that you should never ask a lady if she has gained weight.
13. “You Are So Sexy.”
Women want to hear that you think they’re lovely, but they want to hear that you think they’re seductive. As a woman, “you want to know and feel that your partner is attracted to you,” Thompson says. Just make sure to avoid using any of the phrases you should never say to a naked woman.
14. “Can I Get Your Perspective On This?”
According to Rogers, showing your partner that you genuinely desire her support and value her viewpoint is a terrific idea. It goes a long way toward expressing your belief in her and her abilities.
15. “I’m Feeling…”
Your true emotions will come next. “Women love to hear your intimate thoughts and feelings,” Fisher explains. “Men typically struggle to open up and share their vulnerable side. However, when they do, most women feel very close to them.”
