Gold Coast woman Karina Irby has shared a stranger’s “confronting” response to her admission that she and her husband don’t intend to have children.
Ms Irby, the owner of swimwear line Moana Bikini, opened up about the interaction in a video on TikTok that’s since been viewed by more than 12,000 people.
“I just told a woman that I’m not having children and I kid you not, I saw the blood drain out of her face,” the 33-year-old began.
“She just didn’t quite understand why. We’d just started off doing some small talk – (she was) super friendly, (a) really nice lady – and then she goes, ‘I see you’re married, how old are you?’
“I tell her my age, and she goes, ‘Oh, you’re getting on. So you must have children’.
“And I go to her, ‘No, no kids. Actually, myself and my husband aren’t having children’.”
Ms Irby said the woman then leaned in and asked: “Well darling, what’re you going to do with your life?”
“Obviously nothing, because women who don’t have children don’t have a life,” she jokingly said in the clip.
“I say to her, ‘How long have you got?’
“Anyway, she’s just sipping her wine, looking at me, going, ‘Oh, OK. And you don’t think you’ll be disappointed later? Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?’
“I would never choose to have children just so I can be taken care of when I’m older. And also, having children doesn’t guarantee that you are going to get taken (care) of when you’re older, FYI.
“Anyway, I just found the whole thing quite confronting.”
Other child-free women took to the comments of Ms Irby’s video, writing that they were often on the receiving end of similar judgement at their choice.
My husband I don’t want children either and the amount of weird looks and the very same questions we get are insane,” one wrote.
“I get this so often too! How frustrating is it?” another said.
“It’s so tiring trying to explain to people that you aren’t having kids!” a third commented.
“We have lives that are full and happy even though we don’t have kids! Just keep being your amazing self.”
To which Ms Irby responded: “I couldn’t agree more. It’s more exhausting defending yourself 24/7 than having a damn child.”
Conversation about society’s views on motherhood has increased over the past 12 months, in no small part due to Ellie Gonsalves’ effort to dismantle the stigma around a woman’s choice to be child-free.
The Australian model and actor, who has five million followers across Facebook and Instagram, went viral last November when she posted a list of all the reasons – 118 of them – why she doesn’t want a family.
Reflecting on the list – and the furore it sparked – in an interview with Stellar on Mother’s Day, Ms Gonsalves said people put her “in the Cruella de Vil category and think I hate children”.
“But I love being able to cuddle my niece and nephew. I love cute kids. But there’s no element where I think I would love this for myself. There’s nothing about having my own children that’s appealing to me,” the 33-year-old said.
“It’s like people get offended that I’m saying I don’t want to live their life, and then go into this defence mode of trying to change my mind.”
