In a world where physical appearance often dictates the first impression, obese people face challenges and experiences that many non-obese people might never fully understand.
We only have one body—the one we’re born with—and we only know what it’s like to live in our own body. If we could swap bodies with someone else for a day, we’d likely be much more empathetic. Until then, we need to listen to others’ experiences.
For example, a skinny person can’t truly know what it’s like to be overweight.
Here, 20 obese individuals share things that non-obese people might not understand.
1. The Anxiety of Photos
How much you dread people taking photos of you because it always ruins your day to see yourself in a photo.
2. The Medical Bias Against Obesity
You’re more in danger of poor medical care when you’re obese. Physicians will say “lose weight” in lieu of testing, diagnostics, or anything resembling medical care.
3. The Reality of Weight Loss and Hunger
We know we’re fat. Like trust me, I know. Losing it is harder than it was to gain. I know I just ate, but my body is screaming that it’s starving. Like down to the lightheaded, nausea symptoms of not eating all day even though I ate an hour ago. I know a lot of people thing d***s like ozempic and wegovy are “cheating” but wegovy has literally changed everything. I can eat a healthy portion of food and be satisfied.
4. Clothing Struggles
Finding clothes that fit, worrying if furniture would support you.
5. How Being Obesse Influences Perceptions of Acceptance
From a woman’s perspective, that men don’t think you are allowed to say no to them or reject them. There are a lot of men out there who think because you’re fat, you’re probably lonely and you should be happy with any male attention you get.
6. Why Losing Weight Gets Tougher as You Get Older
It is really easy to gain weight over time. You get a sedentary job and you snack occasionally, and in the evening you watch TV or read a book instead of going out. So you weigh three pounds more than you did at this time last year. No big deal, right?
Now, multiply that by fifteen years or so. All of a sudden, it is your fortieth birthday, and you somehow weigh fifty pounds more than you did in college. It isn’t because you always eat two boxes of oreos a night — you just gained a little, year after year.
Also? It is a lot harder to lose weight when you are heavy. When I was 25 and thought I had gained a few pounds, I’d start jogging. Pretty soon, I’d be able to run two or three miles at a shot, and hey! Problem solved! Now? I’m older and heavier and that means I’m a lot more prone to injury. So I try to work out, and my knees start hurting (again) or I aggravate an old foot injury, and it gets frustrating. There are workarounds, of course. I can swim, and I can lift weights. But it is all harder than it was when I was young.
7. Weight Loss Realities
That for some of us, losing weight is extremely difficult. Some medications can make you excessively hungry. Also those of us with long-term depression and anxiety issues often use food as a source of comfort. We *know* it’s a poor choice, but in the moment, we don’t think of anything but eating something tasty.
Having people patronise us actually makes things worse, not better.
8. How Size Limits Comfortable Activities
I have limited places I can comfortably go due to the width of my a*s.
I would love to go to a concert, or a movie, or on a plane, but it literally *hurts* to wedge my butt into the seat and I lose circulation in my legs if I can’t move. I would love to go on rollercoasters or ferris wheels. I don’t lack *desire*.
On top of that issue, using public toilets is *extremely* uncomfortable. I prefer to use the handicapped stall, and I *despise* the times I have had to use the regular size stall. Multiply that discomfort by 1000 if I’m on my period.
I feel like I always have to be tidy, smell good, and be super put-together to “make up” for people being inconvenienced by my presence.
9. Living with Anxiety
The guilt that comes when you’re seen eating anything at all.
The “aww good for you!” if you’re seen eating a salad because the only possible reason a fat dude would eat a salad is to lose weight.
The existential dread every time you get a random pain in your chest or stitch in your side and think that this could finally be the heart attack.
The fact that you can go days or weeks at a time without really feeling bad about being fat but then all of a sudden one day it’s all you can notice about yourself.
Summer f*****g sucks. It’s too hot anyway, but being fat makes it hotter. And then you get worried that — despite having perfectly good if not over the top hygiene — maybe you’re starting to have “fat guy smell.”.
10. Debunking the Myth
That if fatshaming worked, there wouldn’t be fat people.
Also that, yes, I do exercise 3-5 days a week and I do diet, and I don’t just stuff my mouth with junk food day in and day out.
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11. Always Adjusting
The constant need to physically adjust yourself.
I wear clothes that fit but I’m still constantly adjusting my clothes, my body position, etc. just to be comfortable and for my clothes to have a chance of hiding some of what’s going on here. My thin friends almost never adjust their clothes and such.
12. Facing Stares in Economy Class
I’m not obese but my sturdy friend says you always get this look when boarding a plane in economy where everyone hopes to god you’re not in the seat next to them.
13. Finding the Perfect Outfit
Having to face the dilemma of choosing the perfect outfit every time you leave the house.
A lot of obese people are incredibly self-conscious about their bodies, and will wear more/bigger clothes to feel more comfortable.
This makes you overanalyse the weather and stuff. Layering wrong is gonna make you too hot or too cold later on.
14. Obesity Doesn’t Prevent Physical Activity
Just because we are obese doesn’t mean we can’t do physical activity. People don’t have to act surprised that we can indeed participate. I’ve heard this from people when I’ve gone to play soccer or any other sport. I am not the fittest guy playing, but it doesn’t mean that I’m going to die if I run around for a bit.
15. Living Under Scrutiny
How inhuman you feel being obese and how painfully aware of that you are when out in public by the up and down glances from people. The coldness, shortness, and avoidance. Also, unsolicited dieting advice/assumptions after mentioning that you’re making lifestyle changes. I’ve researched fitness/health and read tons on obesity/metabolic dysfunction. Watched all the TEDTalks and youtube gurus. Went vegan, keto, did juicing, and fasting. Got blood tests and seen doctors/specialists/dieticians. I know a lot, I’m always learning. I’ve lost over a hundred pounds since December. Yet people will chime in. Just cut out soda! Just eat less and move more (duh). Try keto, try bariatric procedures, etc. I never drank soda, always been a hydrohomie, also seltzer and herbal tea lover. So I really hate when people assume I slurp down a pallet of 2L sodas daily. I always preferred to eat my calories, not drink them. I do eat less now and move more; my sedentary obesity stemmed from unhealed trauma throughout childhood. Bad coping habit of binge eating. Severe agoraphobia, have spent years being housebound. Former suicide attempts and a toxic relationship. I’m well aware of what my mentality was to be so unhealthy by being so fat. I needed to face that first, and I finally have. I don’t expect people to know or care to know any of that. I hated myself far more than anyone ever could anyway.
16. Always Being Offered Leftovers
How you become expected to be the garbage disposal. “Oh, hey, there’s leftover cake from (coworker’s) birthday thing. We’ll take it to (fat coworker), they’ll eat it.”
Or the last donut or whatever. And then they get all upset when we say no and are like “it’ll go to waste!” because I’m already fat so what does it matter, right?
17. The Paradox of Fat Acceptance
When you’re fat but people like you, they will divorce your fatness from your character, but they’ll still talk negatively about fat people in front of you (simply because of their fatness) and you just sort of sit there like 😀.
18. Stares and Comments That Follow
The fact that sometimes we like to treat ourselves when eating out, the amount of times I’ve gotten looks and comments when getting some nice food. Or the issues that can happen with the body after losing significant weight, for example loose skin. Love having to deal with using strong antimicrobial cleaners every day or risk skin infections.
19. Eating for Comfort
I am in pretty good shape but i used to be obese. I was almost 300 pounds at one point.
One can’t expect others to embrace obese persons with the same level of attraction or positive affect as typical persons. However, one thing that everyone should understand is that people usually become overweight because they have an emotional relationship to food.
Their dietary habits consist of irregular eating and eating as a form of meditation. It feels incredibly calming and enthralling at times to gorge yourself on food. Every thrust of your tongue and crunch of your teeth becomes enjoyable and almost addictive. Think of a bodybuilder honing and focusing on the pump their biceps get or the moment when they’re in the middle of contracting a huge weight and feeling the stretch and bodily stress of that contraction. Every part of that lifestyle deeply enmeshed within your psyche and the best part of it is that it’s a lot easier than everything else that life throws at you.
20. The worst thing for me
I used to be obese. The worst thing for me was how people looked at me. I’d try to make friends and the first thing they would do is look at me in disgust.
